Just breathe.

I don't know why I started a blog 'cause clearly I don't write in it. Trust me, there are a million thoughts racing through my mind everyday as I ride the subway from one borough to the other but every time I sit in front of the laptop, my drive disappears. drive. funny how I use that word because as the older I get, the more I realize how rare that trait really is- or perhaps I just haven't met them yet. It feels so weird to read my thoughts sometimes... to put it on paper is to give it life, right? so then, what does it mean? what does it say about me? i remember there was a time in college when i had a friend read my essay, and she said you use "however" and "but" a lot, it's telling me that you're indecisive. you can't make up your mind. ::lightbulb:: DING! honestly, sometimes i don't know where my brain is, how i really feel and whether or not it even matters. it starts out confusing, then frustrating and at last, apathetic. apathetic. now that's a word i really hate. at least i don't feel apathetic 'bout apathetic.